Zero in

God is good and life is grrrrrrrand!!!!!

God has blessed me SO much. Seriously, its ridiculous. I am trying my best to be a good stewart with the things He's given me, be responsible with the jobs and school He has opened the doors for me to be a part of, and to make wise decisions about my future, especially in the next 3 months! I'm so thankful for the people around me that push me towards those attitudes and goals and for the people who are always there to put me back on track if I happen to fall off!

Man, God is so GOOD. So good.

You know, the other day I was listening to this country song that goes like this, "Sometimes God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers"

Couldn't agree more. Sometimes we (I) just don't know what's best for me. THANK YOU JESUS FOR YOUR GUIDANCE AND TRUUUUUUTH!

Life is a Highway I want it my waaay

So things never go as we plan them, and unexpected things pop up all the time. People hate little or big change, unless it's good for them-good in the-hey I got a raise, awesome the gas prices went down, we do cell group on mondays now which is perfect since now i do book club on Thursdays, etc etc etc. What right do we have to get so stressed out, messed up, ticked off, insecure, or scared about changes that don't necessarily- in our eyes at least- fit into our plans? The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, right? He knows the plans He has for us, right? Good ones, right? Yeah, I believe the verse says plans to prosper and not to harm you. He has the BEST plans for us and works in mysterious ways...think I heard that somewhere ;)

It is so frustrating to me that trust in God is something so hard to hold on too, and running to Him for comfort and reassurance and guidance and strength and everything He IS-which really is EVERYTHING- isn't everyones automatic response to any curve ball life could possibly throw! It's like a special kind of amnesia humans have that targets the one sure-fire remedy for when you face any kind of challenge. ::sidenote-as I'm using the words "everyone" "people" I'm 100% putting myself in those groups:: Sometimes, when I have a rough week or day or anything I instantly forget to lean not on my own understanding and acknowledge Him. When I FINALLY glance over at my Bible and think, perhaps I could give God a shot at whatever my problem is today, doesn't matter if it's 3 5 7 10 minutes into me putting whatever kind of upheaval that DARES interfere with my life into God's hands that He does exactly what He promises He will in His Word, comforts. And most times, I don't solve my problem my way, my situation isn't resolved instantly, my money problems don't completely disappear, and so on. The promises of the Lord are what we HAVE to hold onto in times of little or big change! He is faithful, He is the comforter, He knows-He KNOWS what we're dealing with ALL of the time. He has a purpose for the change your going through. There is a purpose for why that relationship never worked out the way you wanted, there's a purpose for why you got rejected from your dream college, why you had to stay at that crummy job, why you were stuck in that situation for longer than you wanted. God sees SUCH a bigger picture. He never did anything to deserve the lack of trust that permeates Christians lives today, my life today. It's funny, I got a tattoo on my finger to always remind me that yahweh, my Daddy God is always with me, always has my back, knows infinitely more than I do, plans the interactions and people I will meet, introduces new people into my life, lets me experience things that will help me help others later, experiences that will build my character and strengthen me. He's molding all of us into the perfect vessels to serve Him in the best way He sees fit for us to serve Him, and we think He doesn't know what He's doing. Maybe I need a bigger tattoo.

icky.

I feel...icky. As juvenile the word is it expresses how I feel to a T.

I have this feeling of stagnation. Of average, of moving at such a terribly slow speed it kills me. There was a short story I read quite a while ago, I wish I could remember the title... Anyways, it has nothing to do with how I feel really except for in this story the people had blocks or restraints on them, for example if a woman was beautiful she had a mask on, if a man was exceptionally strong he would have restraints on him, so no one would be more special than others or overpower the government who was making them this way.

The reason for me mentioning this story is because lately I feel as if I'm being restrained. Not by anyone but myself. I know what I want and I trust God and know He has what's best for me but I just can't seem to get there without setting things up for myself to fall into. I know better and I'm not one to say, "I'm afraid of failing so I'm not gonna try" or blame the mediocre state of how I'm living to things outside of my control. I strongly believe life is what you make it. So what is my deal?

I think Paul says it best

Romans 7:15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

I know this attitude will pass, and I know what steps I need to take, and I thank God for the goals and plans He is setting in front of me.

I really want a good day or two by myself to stop and think. Refocus, gain some perspective, and really think about how I can get my stuff together so I can do what I was called to: be a good friend, a good daughter, girlfriend, student and to help OTHERS. I want to create, I want to express, I want to give.

That's Rrrrrrrrrright

Asking myself what I'm striving for daily: spiritually, relationally, scholastically, physically. Time to set some short and long term GOALS.

holla.

Back from Outer Space

The second week of school is halfway over. This is my 9th day back from Chile and I have the weirdest sensation of- thank God I'm home I was gone forever and also- did I even leave?

I love being home and love being with my family :) I got to see Brent this weekend and it was amazing! Hillsong was GREAT! I love to worship! I love being surrounded by people who love God and want the same things I do=to know Him more!

I miss Chile so much. Pichilemu was like a bubble. I'm hoping that all of my friends there are doing amazing but I can't really talk to them because of the internet there. I LOVE my classes this semester! My last semester ever. Scaryyyyyy! I'm taking Spanish and love speaking it. I'm so thankful that God is so intricate and deliberate about where He places me and the way He brings things into my life! There's a Brazilian Bible study at my house on Thursday nights and I cannot wait to speak with some of them even though I'm sure they speak mostly Portuguese!

So I'm looking for a job, surprise surprise! What else is new in Pensacola right? I'm excited about this new season in my life, because thats EXACTLY what it is!!!

God has been speaking alot to me about training lately and discipline. I need to prepare for the time of my life that is coming up very soon!

1 Timothy 4:7-9

⁷Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. ⁸For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

Hebrews 12:10-12

¹⁰Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

¹²Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.

Let me tell you that waking up this morning was PAINFUL!!!

I want to walk in holiness and I would love to hold onto the peace that I left South America with!!! I'm so thankful for all that I have and have been blessed with.

Until next time...

me and marcia is the first picture followed by the andes outside of my bus window on the way back from Curico, Chile to Pichilemu

the third was our bedroom were all 6 of us slept on mattresses on the floor

and the last one is one I took while 6 of us were in the back of a pickup truck driving to a brothers house to eat dinner!

Outreach was an amazing experience. We did more than we thought and we were all blessed by the new friends and the services that were had there. So many memories...embarrasing moments like faceplanting over a pile of wood, relationships that are so much closer, eating cumulatively more bread in a week in a half than I think I have in my entire life...

so many things:

lukewarm/cold showers, evangelizing, talking on a radio station, successfully having conversations in spanish, totally failing at spanish 5 minutes later, being called whinsnay, getting a new lesson everyday about patience, leaning on God, being so freazing...way more great than bad-> and by bad I really just mean uncomfortable. 

I am back in Pichilemu and I have so many stories that I WILL blog about...tomorrow ;)

My heads gonna get too big!

I have officially been here one month! Yay! And this weekend I'm leaving for 10 days to go to Curico, Chile. We are doing an outreach there! We have been learning tons of dramas, funny ones, sad ones, etc. 

I'm really excited and I think that alot of people will be reached! I'm also excited because....Curico is also called by natives the CAKE CAPITAL!!!! woopwoop! I'm hoping there will be some amazing cakes there :) I would love to experience some of Curico's fine culture ;)

OH by the way, that is a little scorpion up there, on the table where we eat lunch...it's no big deal, really. Sarcasm. 

Jesus is teaching me a lot. A lot. I fear my brain is growing at an alarming rate and soon, my head will be gigantic.