Zero in

God is good and life is grrrrrrrand!!!!!

God has blessed me SO much. Seriously, its ridiculous. I am trying my best to be a good stewart with the things He's given me, be responsible with the jobs and school He has opened the doors for me to be a part of, and to make wise decisions about my future, especially in the next 3 months! I'm so thankful for the people around me that push me towards those attitudes and goals and for the people who are always there to put me back on track if I happen to fall off!

Man, God is so GOOD. So good.

You know, the other day I was listening to this country song that goes like this, "Sometimes God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers"

Couldn't agree more. Sometimes we (I) just don't know what's best for me. THANK YOU JESUS FOR YOUR GUIDANCE AND TRUUUUUUTH!

Life is a Highway I want it my waaay

So things never go as we plan them, and unexpected things pop up all the time. People hate little or big change, unless it's good for them-good in the-hey I got a raise, awesome the gas prices went down, we do cell group on mondays now which is perfect since now i do book club on Thursdays, etc etc etc. What right do we have to get so stressed out, messed up, ticked off, insecure, or scared about changes that don't necessarily- in our eyes at least- fit into our plans? The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, right? He knows the plans He has for us, right? Good ones, right? Yeah, I believe the verse says plans to prosper and not to harm you. He has the BEST plans for us and works in mysterious ways...think I heard that somewhere ;)

It is so frustrating to me that trust in God is something so hard to hold on too, and running to Him for comfort and reassurance and guidance and strength and everything He IS-which really is EVERYTHING- isn't everyones automatic response to any curve ball life could possibly throw! It's like a special kind of amnesia humans have that targets the one sure-fire remedy for when you face any kind of challenge. ::sidenote-as I'm using the words "everyone" "people" I'm 100% putting myself in those groups:: Sometimes, when I have a rough week or day or anything I instantly forget to lean not on my own understanding and acknowledge Him. When I FINALLY glance over at my Bible and think, perhaps I could give God a shot at whatever my problem is today, doesn't matter if it's 3 5 7 10 minutes into me putting whatever kind of upheaval that DARES interfere with my life into God's hands that He does exactly what He promises He will in His Word, comforts. And most times, I don't solve my problem my way, my situation isn't resolved instantly, my money problems don't completely disappear, and so on. The promises of the Lord are what we HAVE to hold onto in times of little or big change! He is faithful, He is the comforter, He knows-He KNOWS what we're dealing with ALL of the time. He has a purpose for the change your going through. There is a purpose for why that relationship never worked out the way you wanted, there's a purpose for why you got rejected from your dream college, why you had to stay at that crummy job, why you were stuck in that situation for longer than you wanted. God sees SUCH a bigger picture. He never did anything to deserve the lack of trust that permeates Christians lives today, my life today. It's funny, I got a tattoo on my finger to always remind me that yahweh, my Daddy God is always with me, always has my back, knows infinitely more than I do, plans the interactions and people I will meet, introduces new people into my life, lets me experience things that will help me help others later, experiences that will build my character and strengthen me. He's molding all of us into the perfect vessels to serve Him in the best way He sees fit for us to serve Him, and we think He doesn't know what He's doing. Maybe I need a bigger tattoo.

icky.

I feel...icky. As juvenile the word is it expresses how I feel to a T.

I have this feeling of stagnation. Of average, of moving at such a terribly slow speed it kills me. There was a short story I read quite a while ago, I wish I could remember the title... Anyways, it has nothing to do with how I feel really except for in this story the people had blocks or restraints on them, for example if a woman was beautiful she had a mask on, if a man was exceptionally strong he would have restraints on him, so no one would be more special than others or overpower the government who was making them this way.

The reason for me mentioning this story is because lately I feel as if I'm being restrained. Not by anyone but myself. I know what I want and I trust God and know He has what's best for me but I just can't seem to get there without setting things up for myself to fall into. I know better and I'm not one to say, "I'm afraid of failing so I'm not gonna try" or blame the mediocre state of how I'm living to things outside of my control. I strongly believe life is what you make it. So what is my deal?

I think Paul says it best

Romans 7:15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

I know this attitude will pass, and I know what steps I need to take, and I thank God for the goals and plans He is setting in front of me.

I really want a good day or two by myself to stop and think. Refocus, gain some perspective, and really think about how I can get my stuff together so I can do what I was called to: be a good friend, a good daughter, girlfriend, student and to help OTHERS. I want to create, I want to express, I want to give.

That's Rrrrrrrrrright

Asking myself what I'm striving for daily: spiritually, relationally, scholastically, physically. Time to set some short and long term GOALS.

holla.

Back from Outer Space

The second week of school is halfway over. This is my 9th day back from Chile and I have the weirdest sensation of- thank God I'm home I was gone forever and also- did I even leave?

I love being home and love being with my family :) I got to see Brent this weekend and it was amazing! Hillsong was GREAT! I love to worship! I love being surrounded by people who love God and want the same things I do=to know Him more!

I miss Chile so much. Pichilemu was like a bubble. I'm hoping that all of my friends there are doing amazing but I can't really talk to them because of the internet there. I LOVE my classes this semester! My last semester ever. Scaryyyyyy! I'm taking Spanish and love speaking it. I'm so thankful that God is so intricate and deliberate about where He places me and the way He brings things into my life! There's a Brazilian Bible study at my house on Thursday nights and I cannot wait to speak with some of them even though I'm sure they speak mostly Portuguese!

So I'm looking for a job, surprise surprise! What else is new in Pensacola right? I'm excited about this new season in my life, because thats EXACTLY what it is!!!

God has been speaking alot to me about training lately and discipline. I need to prepare for the time of my life that is coming up very soon!

1 Timothy 4:7-9

⁷Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. ⁸For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

Hebrews 12:10-12

¹⁰Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

¹²Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.

Let me tell you that waking up this morning was PAINFUL!!!

I want to walk in holiness and I would love to hold onto the peace that I left South America with!!! I'm so thankful for all that I have and have been blessed with.

Until next time...

me and marcia is the first picture followed by the andes outside of my bus window on the way back from Curico, Chile to Pichilemu

the third was our bedroom were all 6 of us slept on mattresses on the floor

and the last one is one I took while 6 of us were in the back of a pickup truck driving to a brothers house to eat dinner!

Outreach was an amazing experience. We did more than we thought and we were all blessed by the new friends and the services that were had there. So many memories...embarrasing moments like faceplanting over a pile of wood, relationships that are so much closer, eating cumulatively more bread in a week in a half than I think I have in my entire life...

so many things:

lukewarm/cold showers, evangelizing, talking on a radio station, successfully having conversations in spanish, totally failing at spanish 5 minutes later, being called whinsnay, getting a new lesson everyday about patience, leaning on God, being so freazing...way more great than bad-> and by bad I really just mean uncomfortable. 

I am back in Pichilemu and I have so many stories that I WILL blog about...tomorrow ;)

My heads gonna get too big!

I have officially been here one month! Yay! And this weekend I'm leaving for 10 days to go to Curico, Chile. We are doing an outreach there! We have been learning tons of dramas, funny ones, sad ones, etc. 

I'm really excited and I think that alot of people will be reached! I'm also excited because....Curico is also called by natives the CAKE CAPITAL!!!! woopwoop! I'm hoping there will be some amazing cakes there :) I would love to experience some of Curico's fine culture ;)

OH by the way, that is a little scorpion up there, on the table where we eat lunch...it's no big deal, really. Sarcasm. 

Jesus is teaching me a lot. A lot. I fear my brain is growing at an alarming rate and soon, my head will be gigantic.

Who Says its Easy?

In my short short life, I have been ridiculously blessed. Fact is though, 18 years is nothin. As my 19th birthday approaches, I'm realizing over and over how young I really am. In life in general and spiritually. How silly was I to think that I know whats up? 

My DTS is intense as the schedule from my previous blog entails, and as the days come and go, every class we have challenges me in a new and different way. Teach me things I never knew. And while I am so thankful to be here, I can't deny that it is overwhelming. The things we are learning and talking about and being exposed to are hard subjects. 

Everytime I get down, or discouraged, or just want to go home, it's almost funny how much God smacks me in the face with His love. This is just one example, but Sunday, after the whole week of working and schooling, the last thing I wanted to do was walk to church. 30 minutes of walking when I was so tired to go to a church in another language just didn't sound good to me. But, as we are walking to church, I saw the most beautiful sky I've seen in my life. Like standing in AWE sky. Take your breath away sky. It's hard here, but God loves me and He wants to bless me. He sees me trying to do my best to please Him and do well in this school and everytime I feel overwhelmed He blesses me with His creation, a kind gesture from one of my friends (when I was down today Teresa brought me a cup of Coke Zero), a promise from His Word, or an extra ten minutes of Skyping with my boyfriend.

Galations 6:9 ,"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

No one said it was gonna be easy, but worth it? DEFINITELY.

stray dogs make me and teresa sad...
the ocean is beaaaautiful! 
food is...nasty?
bery bery nasty
poor stray puppy drinking from the mudd...

Hey! I just got out of our dance and drama time-which is two hours every Tuesday and Thursday! We are learning a hip-hop dance for the outreach portion of our DTS and it is actually really good! After the two hours was almost up the teachers were confused on a step and asked this 13 year old girl to come in, and we were all wondering what was going on as they were talking in Spanish. They asked us to sit down and then they turned on the music and that 13 year old girl was the BEST. HIP. HOP. DANCER. I. HAVE. EVER. SEEN. She blew us all out of the water! It was sooooo funny but made us realize we are going to have to try so much harder!  So a couple peeps asked for my schedule and here it is:

Mon:                             

7am wake-up              

730-830 quiet time 

830-930 breakfast     

9-10 worship                

10-1 class

1-2 lunch

2-4 work duty

4-5 FREE TIME

5-7 Spanish class

7-8 Dinner

8-930- Sports

930-1030 FREE TIME bed time

Tues:                             

7am wake-up              

730-830 quiet time 

830-930 breakfast     

9-10 Intercession             

10-1 class

1-2 lunch

2-4 work duty

4-5 FREE TIME

5-7 Drama

7-8 Dinner

8-930- One on One with Maia-my pasta

930-1030 FREE TIME bed time

Wed:                             

7am wake-up              

730-830 quiet time 

830-930 breakfast     

9-10 Intercession with the whole base                

10-1 class

1-2 lunch

2-4 work duty

4-5 FREE TIME

5-7 Academic time

7-8 Dinner

8-930- Small Group

930-1030 FREE TIME bed time

Thurs:                             

7am wake-up              

730-830 quiet time 

830-930 breakfast     

9-10 Intercession              

10-1 class

1-2 lunch

2-4 work duty

4-5 FREE TIME

5-7  Drama&dance

7-8 Dinner

8-930- Academic time

930-1030 FREE TIME bed time

Fri:                             

7am wake-up              

730-830 quiet time 

830-930 breakfast     

9-10 worship & intercession          

10-1 class

1-2 lunch

2-4 work duty

4-5 FREE TIME

5-7 Sports

7-8 Dinner

8-930- Service on the base

930-1030 FREE TIME bed time

Basically my only free time during the week is 4-5 and 930-1030...its a hardknock life

Saturday: I have free time from 1030 to 2 and then after 8!!!

Sunday: I have free time from 1030 to 2 and then after 7!!!

Busy Busy girl but its fun and fruitful :)

i love yall, now you know when to skype me! Lataz

Don't Blink

my quiet time journal :)
my new gloves :)
missing my loves...
downtown shopping!

I don't know why this writing is blue BUT ^ that is the 8 beds in our one bedroom 

The time is already starting to fly. I know this time is precious and I intend to cherish every moment! I guess I should start with yesterday, Sabado-Saturday.

Weekends we get to sleep in till 8 o'clock instead of 7 so that's a treat :) I'm being mildly sarcastic here.

We have devotions from 830-930 outside in the freezing weather but its amazing then at 930 is breakfast. I've started to get a coffee mug and put the hot milk, the cereal, and the instant coffee all together in it. Strangely good? Yes, yes it is. 

Since during the weekend we have more free time I was able to go to the center with the girls and get a poncho and ear muffs :) seriously fun stuff! I found a coat but they are horribly expensive here as well as the ones at "thrift" stores here are all XXL, which is ironic since no one in chile looks over 200 pounds at most! 

I spent the other half of the afternoon getting to know one of the leaders here who speaks English, her name is Maia. She is originally from Sacramento, California and she is probably one of the most sincere, cute, and funniest girls I've ever met! Later in the day the last girl arrived, Theresa from Hawaii and all of the Spanish girls were like, you have new friend! When I gave them the thumbs up sign, Magdalena chimed in and said, "you forget bot us..." It made me so sad! I was like no no no I love you! 

Alright switching gears here, I am taking an online class at UWF as well as being in this school and my midterm is due today! Talk about nerve-racking! Today I am working on that as well as going to church at 530.

Alright I have been informed we're leaving for the Center now so Ciao!!!!

Pan

Pan=Bread

Bread is the common denomenator for every meal here in Chile and...only my family and maybe brent know how much I do not enjoy bread...I have personally always beleived it tastes like nothing no matter what kind it is and unless slathered in butter, peanut butter, jam, or some flavorful spread I don't want to touch it. Well imagine my dismay this morning when I woke up so hungry and we go to breakfast and all there is is a huge bowl full of round flat bread. I took some even though I didn't want any and had my coffee(which is hot milk and instant coffee). Just as I'm preparing myself to shove down some dry cracker bread out of the corner of my eye I see them bring out two things, marmalade and the weirdest kind of cream cheese ever, BUT it was delicious! Once I stop comparing the food to food in the USA(they told me to stop saying America because South America is America too =>) I can really enjoy their food and appreciate their culture. I think this was a lesson in waiting, as silly as that sounds. It may be different but it's beautiful. It may seem hard, but it's only going to get easier. I don't know if that makes much sense but this morning was encouraging to me :)

I woke up on time!

I learned how to heat water with a hot-plate

I tried something new

I had a decent Spanglish conversation with my roommates :)

Also, last night we had worship in English and Spanish and it was beautiful-hermosa

Right now is a break between breakfast and clase, which starts in 20 minutes.

Strange occurance- the more I speak Spanish the more my brain is confused on what to use of English or Spanish

laughing

Today was exhausting and hilarious. And also not over yet! I woke up at 11 a.m. and it was like, oh my gosh that American girl sleeps so much! First thing I did was ask, Cuando desayunar? and my roommates and myself finally were able to communicate to each other that it was well past breakfast and lunch was at one! 

Next thing I said was, "Yo necesita papel de bano y adaptador! Vamos tienda?" Which was my way of saying, I need toilet paper and an adapter, lets go to the store?

Needless to say...I have been getting laughed at alot!!!! But it's funny so I don't mind. So we started walking... And we walked and walked...and walked and walked...MY FEET HURT SO BAD! 

Although I got to see the most beautiful beach- la playa con la arena negra- the sand was black! It was absolutely gorgeous and on the way back we saw star fish and a baby seal that was dead :( it was sad and my roommate kept touching the dead seal...I was like no tocar!!! which I think means touch if not than I probably told her something offending haha

We walked to so many places: on the beach, to the bank, to like five stores...so much walking but luckily everything is done except for getting a coat, phone, and gloves :)

Tomorrow that can be done! It is currently 4 oclock in the afternoon and the girls are getting ready for la cena-dinner and the inaguration of ouru school! I'm extremely excited about the start of it all :) It's only been half of a day and I have been so blessed! It's weird to sit in our room and listen to them speaking spanish and be totally in my own world of english. It's strangely peaceful when I stop trying to pick out words and just listen.

Oh random fact! Everybody here kisses your cheek! My friend said the only people who don't are guys with guys and if I didn't want to do it I didn't have to but I'd be rude. I have been kissing everyone's cheek.

Also I took a break from my blog writing to take a shower and just to tell you a little about that...there are two showers in the bathroom so me and Madgalena took one at the same time, about one minute into it she screamed and I was yelping, "Fria! Frio?!" which is cold! Our water heater is gas run and the wind must have blown and that little flame to heat it must have gone out because that was the coldest shower I hope to ever take! I smell good now though so :)

Another new edition: adapters change the shape of the plug of your elecronic device that needs power to fit in the plug that is provided. I bought one of these lil buddies and happily plugged my blow dryer in and it worked for a minute then stopped. After I borrowed a girls blow-dryer I proceeded to plug in my straightener, same thing happened. This guy was like, "The boltage is dibberent here you cannot use theese weethout a transbormer. Yeah thees es ober." So I accidentally killed my electronics... I wrote mom and dad to send me a transbormer(transformer) and hopefully they will so I can use things that need to be plugged in, like this here computer!

Tiempo de Cena!

Sigh of Relief

Right now I am sitting in the top bunk of my bunkbed in the YWAM DTS base in Pichilemu, Chile. There are currently four blankets stacked up on my bed because I kid you not it is THAT cold! 

I met some amazing people today, and I'm rooming with 4 of them. My roommates- or should I say bunkmates- are Caterina, Maria, Arabella, and Magdalena! They call me Winny :) I find it endearing that that is the closest they can reach to pronouncing Whitney the right way! Except for my new friend Javier who, upon hearing my "nombre" exclaimed - like Whitney Houston! That got tons of laughs from the other spanish speaking spectators...I can't even escape that association when I leave the country the woman sings in! Thanks mom!

I already feel as if I know more Spanish :) Praise!

Tomorrow is the last day of free time-tiempo libre- I get before the DTS officially starts and from that fateful day on for the next 3 months I will have UNA HORA- ONE HOUR a day of using the internet. So tomorrow is my day to: by an adapter for everything and anything electronic I have, find anywhere to sell me some Diet Coke and chocolate, change my dollars to Pesos, buy a winter coat and gloves, and thats about it :) 

Buenas Noches amigos 

Gloria a Dios

The Big Day!

In almost exactly 12 hours I will be boarding a plane to head off to a country I've never been to before, whose people speak a language I do not yet know, knowing exactly no one there...

and I couldn't be more excited!!! 

There are so many emotions I've been going through packing up my room and saying goodbyes over the past week to people who I love. The one constant has been the thankful feeling I have that I've been blessed with this incredible, once in a lifetime opportunity! Now more than ever I'm having to rely on God to give me comfort and strength of mind. He never fails nor ceases to give me exactly what I need, and I can rest assured in that. From hearing the stories of my sister's experiences with YWAM I can't help but wonder what adventures I'll be having of my own. 

They start today =)

little miss me

I blog. Or I will that is. I'm making this loverly little blog to document my Pichelmu expeiriences! And I'm sure my travels will blow everyones mind. Simultaneously. Jus playin. I'm starting the day before I go so yes.