icky.

I feel...icky. As juvenile the word is it expresses how I feel to a T.

I have this feeling of stagnation. Of average, of moving at such a terribly slow speed it kills me. There was a short story I read quite a while ago, I wish I could remember the title... Anyways, it has nothing to do with how I feel really except for in this story the people had blocks or restraints on them, for example if a woman was beautiful she had a mask on, if a man was exceptionally strong he would have restraints on him, so no one would be more special than others or overpower the government who was making them this way.

The reason for me mentioning this story is because lately I feel as if I'm being restrained. Not by anyone but myself. I know what I want and I trust God and know He has what's best for me but I just can't seem to get there without setting things up for myself to fall into. I know better and I'm not one to say, "I'm afraid of failing so I'm not gonna try" or blame the mediocre state of how I'm living to things outside of my control. I strongly believe life is what you make it. So what is my deal?

I think Paul says it best

Romans 7:15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

I know this attitude will pass, and I know what steps I need to take, and I thank God for the goals and plans He is setting in front of me.

I really want a good day or two by myself to stop and think. Refocus, gain some perspective, and really think about how I can get my stuff together so I can do what I was called to: be a good friend, a good daughter, girlfriend, student and to help OTHERS. I want to create, I want to express, I want to give.

That's Rrrrrrrrrright

Asking myself what I'm striving for daily: spiritually, relationally, scholastically, physically. Time to set some short and long term GOALS.

holla.

Back from Outer Space

The second week of school is halfway over. This is my 9th day back from Chile and I have the weirdest sensation of- thank God I'm home I was gone forever and also- did I even leave?

I love being home and love being with my family :) I got to see Brent this weekend and it was amazing! Hillsong was GREAT! I love to worship! I love being surrounded by people who love God and want the same things I do=to know Him more!

I miss Chile so much. Pichilemu was like a bubble. I'm hoping that all of my friends there are doing amazing but I can't really talk to them because of the internet there. I LOVE my classes this semester! My last semester ever. Scaryyyyyy! I'm taking Spanish and love speaking it. I'm so thankful that God is so intricate and deliberate about where He places me and the way He brings things into my life! There's a Brazilian Bible study at my house on Thursday nights and I cannot wait to speak with some of them even though I'm sure they speak mostly Portuguese!

So I'm looking for a job, surprise surprise! What else is new in Pensacola right? I'm excited about this new season in my life, because thats EXACTLY what it is!!!

God has been speaking alot to me about training lately and discipline. I need to prepare for the time of my life that is coming up very soon!

1 Timothy 4:7-9

⁷Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. ⁸For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

Hebrews 12:10-12

¹⁰Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

¹²Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.

Let me tell you that waking up this morning was PAINFUL!!!

I want to walk in holiness and I would love to hold onto the peace that I left South America with!!! I'm so thankful for all that I have and have been blessed with.

Until next time...

me and marcia is the first picture followed by the andes outside of my bus window on the way back from Curico, Chile to Pichilemu

the third was our bedroom were all 6 of us slept on mattresses on the floor

and the last one is one I took while 6 of us were in the back of a pickup truck driving to a brothers house to eat dinner!

Outreach was an amazing experience. We did more than we thought and we were all blessed by the new friends and the services that were had there. So many memories...embarrasing moments like faceplanting over a pile of wood, relationships that are so much closer, eating cumulatively more bread in a week in a half than I think I have in my entire life...

so many things:

lukewarm/cold showers, evangelizing, talking on a radio station, successfully having conversations in spanish, totally failing at spanish 5 minutes later, being called whinsnay, getting a new lesson everyday about patience, leaning on God, being so freazing...way more great than bad-> and by bad I really just mean uncomfortable. 

I am back in Pichilemu and I have so many stories that I WILL blog about...tomorrow ;)

My heads gonna get too big!

I have officially been here one month! Yay! And this weekend I'm leaving for 10 days to go to Curico, Chile. We are doing an outreach there! We have been learning tons of dramas, funny ones, sad ones, etc. 

I'm really excited and I think that alot of people will be reached! I'm also excited because....Curico is also called by natives the CAKE CAPITAL!!!! woopwoop! I'm hoping there will be some amazing cakes there :) I would love to experience some of Curico's fine culture ;)

OH by the way, that is a little scorpion up there, on the table where we eat lunch...it's no big deal, really. Sarcasm. 

Jesus is teaching me a lot. A lot. I fear my brain is growing at an alarming rate and soon, my head will be gigantic.

Who Says its Easy?

In my short short life, I have been ridiculously blessed. Fact is though, 18 years is nothin. As my 19th birthday approaches, I'm realizing over and over how young I really am. In life in general and spiritually. How silly was I to think that I know whats up? 

My DTS is intense as the schedule from my previous blog entails, and as the days come and go, every class we have challenges me in a new and different way. Teach me things I never knew. And while I am so thankful to be here, I can't deny that it is overwhelming. The things we are learning and talking about and being exposed to are hard subjects. 

Everytime I get down, or discouraged, or just want to go home, it's almost funny how much God smacks me in the face with His love. This is just one example, but Sunday, after the whole week of working and schooling, the last thing I wanted to do was walk to church. 30 minutes of walking when I was so tired to go to a church in another language just didn't sound good to me. But, as we are walking to church, I saw the most beautiful sky I've seen in my life. Like standing in AWE sky. Take your breath away sky. It's hard here, but God loves me and He wants to bless me. He sees me trying to do my best to please Him and do well in this school and everytime I feel overwhelmed He blesses me with His creation, a kind gesture from one of my friends (when I was down today Teresa brought me a cup of Coke Zero), a promise from His Word, or an extra ten minutes of Skyping with my boyfriend.

Galations 6:9 ,"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

No one said it was gonna be easy, but worth it? DEFINITELY.

stray dogs make me and teresa sad...
the ocean is beaaaautiful! 
food is...nasty?
bery bery nasty
poor stray puppy drinking from the mudd...

Hey! I just got out of our dance and drama time-which is two hours every Tuesday and Thursday! We are learning a hip-hop dance for the outreach portion of our DTS and it is actually really good! After the two hours was almost up the teachers were confused on a step and asked this 13 year old girl to come in, and we were all wondering what was going on as they were talking in Spanish. They asked us to sit down and then they turned on the music and that 13 year old girl was the BEST. HIP. HOP. DANCER. I. HAVE. EVER. SEEN. She blew us all out of the water! It was sooooo funny but made us realize we are going to have to try so much harder!  So a couple peeps asked for my schedule and here it is:

Mon:                             

7am wake-up              

730-830 quiet time 

830-930 breakfast     

9-10 worship                

10-1 class

1-2 lunch

2-4 work duty

4-5 FREE TIME

5-7 Spanish class

7-8 Dinner

8-930- Sports

930-1030 FREE TIME bed time

Tues:                             

7am wake-up              

730-830 quiet time 

830-930 breakfast     

9-10 Intercession             

10-1 class

1-2 lunch

2-4 work duty

4-5 FREE TIME

5-7 Drama

7-8 Dinner

8-930- One on One with Maia-my pasta

930-1030 FREE TIME bed time

Wed:                             

7am wake-up              

730-830 quiet time 

830-930 breakfast     

9-10 Intercession with the whole base                

10-1 class

1-2 lunch

2-4 work duty

4-5 FREE TIME

5-7 Academic time

7-8 Dinner

8-930- Small Group

930-1030 FREE TIME bed time

Thurs:                             

7am wake-up              

730-830 quiet time 

830-930 breakfast     

9-10 Intercession              

10-1 class

1-2 lunch

2-4 work duty

4-5 FREE TIME

5-7  Drama&dance

7-8 Dinner

8-930- Academic time

930-1030 FREE TIME bed time

Fri:                             

7am wake-up              

730-830 quiet time 

830-930 breakfast     

9-10 worship & intercession          

10-1 class

1-2 lunch

2-4 work duty

4-5 FREE TIME

5-7 Sports

7-8 Dinner

8-930- Service on the base

930-1030 FREE TIME bed time

Basically my only free time during the week is 4-5 and 930-1030...its a hardknock life

Saturday: I have free time from 1030 to 2 and then after 8!!!

Sunday: I have free time from 1030 to 2 and then after 7!!!

Busy Busy girl but its fun and fruitful :)

i love yall, now you know when to skype me! Lataz